I wanted to say a few words about a book Jeff and I started reading together over the summer: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by Dr. John Gray. Though we're not finished reading it, I would highly recommend it to any couple. We were reluctant to read it at first...I'm not sure why, but maybe it was because we were afraid of it telling us what to do or that it would be so generalizing that we'd immediately see how it didn't apply to us. Finally we started it just for the heck of it, during the long car-rides we took over the summer. The result was hugely educational.
I was surprised at how many times after reading a passage, I'd turn to Jeff and say "Is that what it seems like to you?" He'd say "yes" and I'd realize I had been unintentionally demeaning him in some way. With how differently men and women hear the same conversation, it's no wonder there are so many miscommunications! Also, since we've been reading it a chapter at time, it seems like we always read a chapter right after we've had some incident that's described in the chapter. Ironic.
Anyway, I would recommend it to anyone that's married. You may not agree with everything Dr. Gray says, but even if you feel like you have a happy marriage, you ought to read it some time. It will make you a better spouse and help your spouse understand why you are the way you are, and that goes for him and her.
That's not to say that Jeff and I are the perfect couple now...we're still learning. But I know that Jeff is so great--I love him and I'm so happy that I can call him my best friend. I'm glad he's patient with me, and I know that if we're both willing, we can work through misunderstandings that come up and that it's worth it to work through them.
Have any of you bloggers read it, or any other marriage/family strengthening material? I would love to hear about what anyone else thinks about this--if you've read or heard about something, or disagree with something, that's just fine. (Yes Mickey, it's your copy of Men are from Mars,...but we're really just borrowing it, you know, instead of "borrowing" it. That is to say, you'll get it back...someday.) :)
3 comments:
I've read parts of "Mars/Venus" before I was married, but even then I found it very interesting and entertaining.
In then end, it seems to present a very basic premise in a palatable way: husbands and wives should communicate openly to resolve problems. It seems so obvious, but sometimes very difficult to do.
Another great relationship book is "7 Habits." Again, the information is basic, but presented in a way that helps you recognize problems and improve. If you haven't read it before, it's worth a read.
I've only been able to adopt the first 3 1/2 "habits," which is why, instead of being highly successful, I'm stuck on "moderately mediocre." But life is a journey, right? :)
As soon as life settles down for us - which will probably be after the first of the year - we'll have to check that out from the lovely Kitsap Regional Library. Angie's endorsement is all that I need!
I'm looking forward to the Anginator's next post . . . her presence is missed in the blogosphere!
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